The dog ran with an urgency hindered only by her frequent compulsion to stop and sniff. There had only been one other person here since we had last been. This was after the last snowstorm, the one I walked in beginning in this direction before realizing that the return into high winds on an already biting cold day would not be pleasurable and we walked along the wood-lined road instead.
Back here in the blueberry fields it might not have been true that only one other person had been there in days. There may have been multiple people on the snowmobile as it hurdled itself along the open space swathed in snow as it was. As it is. Nevertheless, she seemed content sniffing out the same patches of grass she’d sniffed before. They were sticking up out of the piles of snow she swam in, and, even more interesting to her, was sniffing out the trail of her old tracks.
The walking eased my mind considerably. I’ve been noticing tension creep up into my body more than usual lately. Given the unity of mind and body, this tension is also snaking its way around my thoughts, around my consciousness. All the omegas-3’s in the world won’t completely assuage my racing mind. I try to consciously relax, I curse the fact that all this dog-walking has taken the morning space previously given to my fledgling regular asana practice, yet these actions don’t replace the unnecessarily engaged muscles with calm, elongated ones. What’s going on? Why can’t I relax?
I realized today that it’s a matter of space. The space that I need for myself to feel held in a vision of comfort and security is hard to muster when I move house every ten days, bopping around house/pet-sitting gigs. It’s not only about a physical place, though. It’s a measure of intended awareness spent on myself. The haphazard, when-I-can-fit-them-in asana sessions simply aren’t enough, I know that. I know that I need regular, dedicated time to listen to my body and listen to my mind. If not, I’m going to be informed of discomfort.
I know the discomfort my tense muscles and tense mind has been feeling can be alleviated, thank goodness, and fortunately, I have another doggy at my current place to lure me out on walks. And I know I can also carve out space and time for asana.
When my mind and body get too rigid I can listen and hope that next time I won’t have to wait until I hear these messages to do something about it.
Guenevere Neufeld 